WE just finshed a series called "Beautiful Mess" here is the writing I wrote - it was turned into a movie!

What happens when you fall and the person next to you does not. When your walking with someone and they stop walking with you or the path you thought was before you radically changes views in no time at all.

We all have these moments in life where we look before us and the view is so peaceful and beautiful we forget to breath, because the thought of loosing it is to great. Instead we take a chance and look back to see where we came from and then when we turn back around the view is nothing like we remember.

The garden where peace and love flowed is now a forest of mud and fallen trees. The hope that once filled our minds is now replaced with the mess that is before us.

For me this came in college, a friend that I thought the world of, a friend that knew me so well, a friend I would have called a best friend...decided to stop walking, decided to turn around. The view I had planned in front of me, the breath I was deciding to take was thrown from my body and in front of me was nothing but a mess.

I think that is all a part of life...looking back and seeing the mess that in now beautiful with time. See four years ago I was turmoil, I was in mud up to knees and everyone around knew more then I did. The people around me saw the picture with color and all I saw was this gray world with no point.

Messy, ugly, and lifeless...my world lie in front of me and I saw nothing of value.

Four years ago I could not stand here and tell you the beauty lie in the fact that this boy was the first to find value in me, this man was the first to give cridit to these gifts I possess, and this man of God was the first to say run because God is by you...run

I think through life we all have messes we can look back on and see beauty. I dont think my dad would consider the drive home he was partaking in when the phone rang with news that my mom had cancer a good drive. I dont think my mom would consider the weeks she spent away from me, a freshmen in high school and my sister a four month old newly adopted baby, good picute because of the radiation in her body kept her from us, I dont think my grandma would think back and view the hours spent in the waiting room wondering if her daughter had cancer a painting worth repainting.

Yet looking back at this unglyness, I see my dad and a group of men meeting at McDolalds to talk about grace and love when nothing seems to have hope, I see my mother who is now working on a cancer floor of a hospital and is allowed the joy to show love and mercy to people and families going through the same thing she did...the same thing we did.

Beautiful! This year of my families life, was a beautful mess and God shown through in every aspect of it all. Looking for the sunlight behind the trees, the flowers blooming in the mud...the mess of a year was worth the aching pain of picking up one foot up at time. Praying for strenght to see tomorrow and a hope that worth and life is found in Christ and not test results.

My parents taught me then that life is lived in these moments, these time when nothing makes sense...Christ does.

In collage this rang through. That boy, remember him, my parents knew what was to come, and allowed me to walk in the forest because they knew that the life I was called to would be shown to me through this mess. They knew that they would have to pick me up and hold me later but that I need this forest of broken tress to teach me about myself, to mold my steps and to set me on the path I'm on now.

As I stand now years after falling and the boy standing, I see that we were brought together for my heart to find this place I call home. I would not be the girl I am now with out his words of perservance. I would not be the women I am now without the faith he provided in my strength, whether he knows he did or not, and I would not be this women of God living in the northwest persueing Chirst through helping with a church plant had he not allowed my desire to over shadow his at times.

Messy, grows, thick and unable to see through...at times...Colorful, radiant, and remarkable...YES...a beautful mess some might call it.

Long time no writing

Sorry, my computer charger died...sad i know, but now i am up and going...so here i go, i be posting soon like tomorrow!