Friday, January 29, 2010
tears that wont fall
sometimes i wish i could cry, then i remember that the tears i long to cry are out of my own strength and not in His name!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thoughts on a day that is windy!
Oh how I love this city! Some times, some moments I forget and then days happen where I think this is greatness in a town.
Today was one of those days for me. Today was a day when I normally sleep late and do not leave home, but instead I woke up at 730, was on campus by 945 and then had what would be a wonderful next few hours.
I stopped at the post office, and mailed some letters to some dear friends up here in Idaho. Then I pushed the button to the 3rd floor of the CUB (wsu) and prayed the whole way to the top.
You see since coming back, WSU had not contacted me about 'GNO'. The officers for panhellenic changed over the break. I got nervous on Thursday when my email had not been returned to me, I got worry something got lost in the transition. But there was nothing I could do on Thursday to help the situation, so I just prayed and tried to go to sleep.
That did not work for me, sleep never came. Funny, well maybe more God thing is that I had just read in Esther where the King was trying to sleep and it never came so instead he read the chronicles of his time as a King. If you read that chapter (6) you see the irony of what he was reading, reading that he had never honored Mordecai. THat ideas that were brought to him the irony of him deciding in this moment to honor Mordecai and to have Haman be the one to do the honor. Oh how God works by not letting us sleep. In the study I am doing there are women of all ages there and at the hearing of this topic they all joined in on how GOd had used sleepless nights to bring them to their knees and to bring them to a topic of prayer. As I sat and listen to them talk I did not get it, I had never lost sleep over something. I was at a lose for what was being said.
Last night I got it. Through sleepless hours I was able to pray over the idea that maybe this event had been lost in the shuffle of changing of officers. I was able to pray that during this meeting hearts would still be soften to the idea of "GNO"
Well 45 min after I walked into the office, I walked out in utter dismay at how amazing this God is that we serve.
YOu see for years Resonate has tried to be an influence on campus, for years we have been trying to meet the needs of students in a new way in a way that would leave a good impression, in a way that the word church would be a good thing to remember.
We have handed out pancakes, fruit snacks, cheese crackers, fruit by the foot oh and lets not forget the granola bars. We have tried and prayed to be a positive influence.
After this meeting I learned that God is answering our prayers. The sorority girl I meet with knew Resonate from the pancakes. Said that the past officer had mentioned the event but not in to much detail. That she was nervous because it was a 'church' event but then found out it was through Resonate and was so excited about it. She saw the new promo for the event and fell in love with the idea of what we were doing. She said since she did not know what we were doing they were needing to plan an event cover both sex and alcohol and this would do that. So instead of just freshman and sophomores, she would let it count for juniors too! We walked down stairs and booked rooms, we talked about the setting and the environment we were trying to create and she lit up with joy! We set down and finalized it all and as I walked way she said "Liz I am really excited about this event and the idea behind it"
Words that I have long to hear, prayers I saw answered in that moment.
Minutes later she called to see if we could meet up on monday to talk some more about it. After that she asked if thrusday i could come by and bring the promo stuff while she was there!
Prayers being answered.
Ah! I good day in Pullman to say the least. GOd is going great things and in 12 days lives will be changed!
Please continue to pray for these two nights!
ps
On monday I will be speaking in front of the greek life women of U of I. Pray that their hearts would get excited about the coming week!
Today was one of those days for me. Today was a day when I normally sleep late and do not leave home, but instead I woke up at 730, was on campus by 945 and then had what would be a wonderful next few hours.
I stopped at the post office, and mailed some letters to some dear friends up here in Idaho. Then I pushed the button to the 3rd floor of the CUB (wsu) and prayed the whole way to the top.
You see since coming back, WSU had not contacted me about 'GNO'. The officers for panhellenic changed over the break. I got nervous on Thursday when my email had not been returned to me, I got worry something got lost in the transition. But there was nothing I could do on Thursday to help the situation, so I just prayed and tried to go to sleep.
That did not work for me, sleep never came. Funny, well maybe more God thing is that I had just read in Esther where the King was trying to sleep and it never came so instead he read the chronicles of his time as a King. If you read that chapter (6) you see the irony of what he was reading, reading that he had never honored Mordecai. THat ideas that were brought to him the irony of him deciding in this moment to honor Mordecai and to have Haman be the one to do the honor. Oh how God works by not letting us sleep. In the study I am doing there are women of all ages there and at the hearing of this topic they all joined in on how GOd had used sleepless nights to bring them to their knees and to bring them to a topic of prayer. As I sat and listen to them talk I did not get it, I had never lost sleep over something. I was at a lose for what was being said.
Last night I got it. Through sleepless hours I was able to pray over the idea that maybe this event had been lost in the shuffle of changing of officers. I was able to pray that during this meeting hearts would still be soften to the idea of "GNO"
Well 45 min after I walked into the office, I walked out in utter dismay at how amazing this God is that we serve.
YOu see for years Resonate has tried to be an influence on campus, for years we have been trying to meet the needs of students in a new way in a way that would leave a good impression, in a way that the word church would be a good thing to remember.
We have handed out pancakes, fruit snacks, cheese crackers, fruit by the foot oh and lets not forget the granola bars. We have tried and prayed to be a positive influence.
After this meeting I learned that God is answering our prayers. The sorority girl I meet with knew Resonate from the pancakes. Said that the past officer had mentioned the event but not in to much detail. That she was nervous because it was a 'church' event but then found out it was through Resonate and was so excited about it. She saw the new promo for the event and fell in love with the idea of what we were doing. She said since she did not know what we were doing they were needing to plan an event cover both sex and alcohol and this would do that. So instead of just freshman and sophomores, she would let it count for juniors too! We walked down stairs and booked rooms, we talked about the setting and the environment we were trying to create and she lit up with joy! We set down and finalized it all and as I walked way she said "Liz I am really excited about this event and the idea behind it"
Words that I have long to hear, prayers I saw answered in that moment.
Minutes later she called to see if we could meet up on monday to talk some more about it. After that she asked if thrusday i could come by and bring the promo stuff while she was there!
Prayers being answered.
Ah! I good day in Pullman to say the least. GOd is going great things and in 12 days lives will be changed!
Please continue to pray for these two nights!
ps
On monday I will be speaking in front of the greek life women of U of I. Pray that their hearts would get excited about the coming week!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Dreams that become a reality
Since my freshman year of college when I fell in love with idea of doing ministry and more specifically wanted to woman's ministry, I never thought this day would come.
When I heard Marian Jordan speak for the first time the August before I moved up to Washington, I never thought I would see her up here.
When I was searching the web for new ideas and ways to do ministry I never thought I would run across this.
When I sat in front of my computer screen pondering how to bring Marian to Washington I never thought she would have a ticket purchased to come and speak here.
When I was putting together binders of a presentation for hosting an event on these campus I never thought the staff would go for it.
When I worked at a camp and lost all contact with the world I never thought a date would be set.
When I came back and set up a meeting I never thought an hour later I would be more connected then ever.
When I meet with Presidents to talk over whether or not this could happen I never thought they would let us openly talk about the Lord.
When I was in the meeting I never thought 10 minutes later I would walk out with a new goal in life.
When money was no where to be found and chance letter opened the door to thousands of dollars I never thought God would not provide.
When contact was made with Marian and Jourdan I never thought they would be to busy to come.
When flights were going to over $800 I never thought God would not provide cheaper ones.
When a team needed to be put together I never thought God wouldn't give me clear vision as to who to be on it.
When paintings need to be painted I never thought we had so many artistic people in our team.
When promo stuff needed to be made and order I never thought they could not do it.
Now Marian is coming, Now Jourdan is coming, now plane tickets are bought, now the sororities are excited, now the promo stuff is done, now the team has been together for months, now money has come in.
God's hands has been everywhere in the mist of the last year of my life. God's hands have been on girls hearts since before this was even a thought. God's hands have been preparing for this event since before Resonate thought of it.
I can not convey how excited I am, how nervous I am, how in awe I am. God is so faithful. The last year of my life has been a roller coaster of great moments and in 14 days I know there is going to be a another great thing.
In 14 days this event becomes a reality, in 14 days girls lives will be changed forever, in 14 days prayers will be answered, in 14 days hearts will hear the name of God for the first time, in 14 days we have the opportunity for a revival on the campuses of WSU and UofI.
Seating in a coffee shop thinking of all that's left to do and all that will get gone, I pray for the people, I pray for the lives, I pray for the hearts, for the ears, for the thoughts, for the conviction, for the women, for the sister. Because they, the people, make it all worth it. They are the reason.
God grant us grace in the midst of the next few weeks. God grant us peace in the coming weeks. God be the women in the coming weeks. God open their hearts for this night. God allow change to occur.
When I heard Marian Jordan speak for the first time the August before I moved up to Washington, I never thought I would see her up here.
When I was searching the web for new ideas and ways to do ministry I never thought I would run across this.
When I sat in front of my computer screen pondering how to bring Marian to Washington I never thought she would have a ticket purchased to come and speak here.
When I was putting together binders of a presentation for hosting an event on these campus I never thought the staff would go for it.
When I worked at a camp and lost all contact with the world I never thought a date would be set.
When I came back and set up a meeting I never thought an hour later I would be more connected then ever.
When I meet with Presidents to talk over whether or not this could happen I never thought they would let us openly talk about the Lord.
When I was in the meeting I never thought 10 minutes later I would walk out with a new goal in life.
When money was no where to be found and chance letter opened the door to thousands of dollars I never thought God would not provide.
When contact was made with Marian and Jourdan I never thought they would be to busy to come.
When flights were going to over $800 I never thought God would not provide cheaper ones.
When a team needed to be put together I never thought God wouldn't give me clear vision as to who to be on it.
When paintings need to be painted I never thought we had so many artistic people in our team.
When promo stuff needed to be made and order I never thought they could not do it.
Now Marian is coming, Now Jourdan is coming, now plane tickets are bought, now the sororities are excited, now the promo stuff is done, now the team has been together for months, now money has come in.
God's hands has been everywhere in the mist of the last year of my life. God's hands have been on girls hearts since before this was even a thought. God's hands have been preparing for this event since before Resonate thought of it.
I can not convey how excited I am, how nervous I am, how in awe I am. God is so faithful. The last year of my life has been a roller coaster of great moments and in 14 days I know there is going to be a another great thing.
In 14 days this event becomes a reality, in 14 days girls lives will be changed forever, in 14 days prayers will be answered, in 14 days hearts will hear the name of God for the first time, in 14 days we have the opportunity for a revival on the campuses of WSU and UofI.
Seating in a coffee shop thinking of all that's left to do and all that will get gone, I pray for the people, I pray for the lives, I pray for the hearts, for the ears, for the thoughts, for the conviction, for the women, for the sister. Because they, the people, make it all worth it. They are the reason.
God grant us grace in the midst of the next few weeks. God grant us peace in the coming weeks. God be the women in the coming weeks. God open their hearts for this night. God allow change to occur.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
New Year on Its way
So it is hard to think that 12 months ago life was being lived in a different year. Sometimes i don't think about this night being the start the something new, or this night being a time, a place, a moment...to look back on and see change.
However, these past twelve months a lot has happen.
I started and then put together a women's event.
I moved home and worked at a camp for the summer.
I read a few books.
I became a staff member of a Church.
I went skiing for the first time.
I almost ran into a tree. (while skiing)
I took dance lessons.
I watch a whole season of American Idol.
I watch three close friends get baptized.
I healed some past wounds.
I turned 23.
I watched my friend get engaged!
I saw a friend realize some major goals in her life and act on them.(2 friends really)
I meet and became really good friends with my new roommate. Jessica
I moved in with 2 girls. This is the 2ND time I've done this in my life.
I decided to stay In Pullman for year 2.
I watched heart break.
I learned a little more about loving people.
I encounter Christ alot.
I learned a little pit more about patience's.
As i take a few moments to just glance back on the last twelve months a lot has happen.
goals i thought i would not reach till later in life God opens doors to see them now.
I think that has been the greatest and yet most difficult thing I done this year.
Many of you know my heart and my passion. I love what I am doing with Resonate and in the lives of the women I get to meet with and talk to! yet I did not think the road would take me here so soon. I always thought i would graduate college,do some missions, teach, go to seminary, work for a Church, do women's stuff...live the rest of my life.
Instead, I graduated college, moved half way around the US, work for a Church and do women's stuff...2010 brings on the thoughts of whats next. I am sitting in a place I have dreamed about, prayed about, and long for. yet I did not realized it until just a few days ago.
I ask that you pray for me in the coming weeks. That now that I see the greatest that God has placed before me. pray that i take hold of it and live to the best possible outcome. Pray that I gain clarity into the future. That I see what God has for me and that I am able to act on it. I think life was easy up till now because it lined up with my journey, the journey I had in mind. Now I am faced with the all exciting question of 'where does this journey lead?"
Sometimes the answer to this is easy and sometimes it is hard. Pray that I see it and that I am able to live freely in it!
I hope you all have a great night and wonderful 2010...I keep ya posted!
Liz
However, these past twelve months a lot has happen.
I started and then put together a women's event.
I moved home and worked at a camp for the summer.
I read a few books.
I became a staff member of a Church.
I went skiing for the first time.
I almost ran into a tree. (while skiing)
I took dance lessons.
I watch a whole season of American Idol.
I watch three close friends get baptized.
I healed some past wounds.
I turned 23.
I watched my friend get engaged!
I saw a friend realize some major goals in her life and act on them.(2 friends really)
I meet and became really good friends with my new roommate. Jessica
I moved in with 2 girls. This is the 2ND time I've done this in my life.
I decided to stay In Pullman for year 2.
I watched heart break.
I learned a little more about loving people.
I encounter Christ alot.
I learned a little pit more about patience's.
As i take a few moments to just glance back on the last twelve months a lot has happen.
goals i thought i would not reach till later in life God opens doors to see them now.
I think that has been the greatest and yet most difficult thing I done this year.
Many of you know my heart and my passion. I love what I am doing with Resonate and in the lives of the women I get to meet with and talk to! yet I did not think the road would take me here so soon. I always thought i would graduate college,do some missions, teach, go to seminary, work for a Church, do women's stuff...live the rest of my life.
Instead, I graduated college, moved half way around the US, work for a Church and do women's stuff...2010 brings on the thoughts of whats next. I am sitting in a place I have dreamed about, prayed about, and long for. yet I did not realized it until just a few days ago.
I ask that you pray for me in the coming weeks. That now that I see the greatest that God has placed before me. pray that i take hold of it and live to the best possible outcome. Pray that I gain clarity into the future. That I see what God has for me and that I am able to act on it. I think life was easy up till now because it lined up with my journey, the journey I had in mind. Now I am faced with the all exciting question of 'where does this journey lead?"
Sometimes the answer to this is easy and sometimes it is hard. Pray that I see it and that I am able to live freely in it!
I hope you all have a great night and wonderful 2010...I keep ya posted!
Liz
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
change
i think i love change...i think i could move anywhere and get by...i think i could start something i feel is important and finish it because change is good and moving and finishing things those are change to me....change of pace, change of style, change of motives, change of life.
yet the normally things, i fell should never move. or i guess a better way of saying that is the Dallas things should never move. I come home and my house is different, my mom is different, my sister is different. I don't get it. I don't get the change. Dallas is suppose to stay untouched, unaltered by time.
I can change, i can grow, i can move...but Dallas is not suppose to be different. It is suppose to be how i left it. A TV in my room, a empty spot for my car, a bed that is unslept in because i am gone. and instead i fine, an empty space in my room where movies where once watched, i fine a car filling the third spot in our garage, I find my room taken over my a girl in high school.
It is not that i am not OK with these changes, it is that in my world these changes did not occur, these new things where not there, in my world, Dallas is unchanged by time. Dallas is home and home is not suppose to be altered by the fact that i left it a year and half a ago.
i thought i loved change but here i am unable to see the light in all this change.
home is not the same, but neither and I
i guess there is some hope in that somewhere.
yet the normally things, i fell should never move. or i guess a better way of saying that is the Dallas things should never move. I come home and my house is different, my mom is different, my sister is different. I don't get it. I don't get the change. Dallas is suppose to stay untouched, unaltered by time.
I can change, i can grow, i can move...but Dallas is not suppose to be different. It is suppose to be how i left it. A TV in my room, a empty spot for my car, a bed that is unslept in because i am gone. and instead i fine, an empty space in my room where movies where once watched, i fine a car filling the third spot in our garage, I find my room taken over my a girl in high school.
It is not that i am not OK with these changes, it is that in my world these changes did not occur, these new things where not there, in my world, Dallas is unchanged by time. Dallas is home and home is not suppose to be altered by the fact that i left it a year and half a ago.
i thought i loved change but here i am unable to see the light in all this change.
home is not the same, but neither and I
i guess there is some hope in that somewhere.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
WE just finshed a series called "Beautiful Mess" here is the writing I wrote - it was turned into a movie!
What happens when you fall and the person next to you does not. When your walking with someone and they stop walking with you or the path you thought was before you radically changes views in no time at all.
We all have these moments in life where we look before us and the view is so peaceful and beautiful we forget to breath, because the thought of loosing it is to great. Instead we take a chance and look back to see where we came from and then when we turn back around the view is nothing like we remember.
The garden where peace and love flowed is now a forest of mud and fallen trees. The hope that once filled our minds is now replaced with the mess that is before us.
For me this came in college, a friend that I thought the world of, a friend that knew me so well, a friend I would have called a best friend...decided to stop walking, decided to turn around. The view I had planned in front of me, the breath I was deciding to take was thrown from my body and in front of me was nothing but a mess.
I think that is all a part of life...looking back and seeing the mess that in now beautiful with time. See four years ago I was turmoil, I was in mud up to knees and everyone around knew more then I did. The people around me saw the picture with color and all I saw was this gray world with no point.
Messy, ugly, and lifeless...my world lie in front of me and I saw nothing of value.
Four years ago I could not stand here and tell you the beauty lie in the fact that this boy was the first to find value in me, this man was the first to give cridit to these gifts I possess, and this man of God was the first to say run because God is by you...run
I think through life we all have messes we can look back on and see beauty. I dont think my dad would consider the drive home he was partaking in when the phone rang with news that my mom had cancer a good drive. I dont think my mom would consider the weeks she spent away from me, a freshmen in high school and my sister a four month old newly adopted baby, good picute because of the radiation in her body kept her from us, I dont think my grandma would think back and view the hours spent in the waiting room wondering if her daughter had cancer a painting worth repainting.
Yet looking back at this unglyness, I see my dad and a group of men meeting at McDolalds to talk about grace and love when nothing seems to have hope, I see my mother who is now working on a cancer floor of a hospital and is allowed the joy to show love and mercy to people and families going through the same thing she did...the same thing we did.
Beautiful! This year of my families life, was a beautful mess and God shown through in every aspect of it all. Looking for the sunlight behind the trees, the flowers blooming in the mud...the mess of a year was worth the aching pain of picking up one foot up at time. Praying for strenght to see tomorrow and a hope that worth and life is found in Christ and not test results.
My parents taught me then that life is lived in these moments, these time when nothing makes sense...Christ does.
In collage this rang through. That boy, remember him, my parents knew what was to come, and allowed me to walk in the forest because they knew that the life I was called to would be shown to me through this mess. They knew that they would have to pick me up and hold me later but that I need this forest of broken tress to teach me about myself, to mold my steps and to set me on the path I'm on now.
As I stand now years after falling and the boy standing, I see that we were brought together for my heart to find this place I call home. I would not be the girl I am now with out his words of perservance. I would not be the women I am now without the faith he provided in my strength, whether he knows he did or not, and I would not be this women of God living in the northwest persueing Chirst through helping with a church plant had he not allowed my desire to over shadow his at times.
Messy, grows, thick and unable to see through...at times...Colorful, radiant, and remarkable...YES...a beautful mess some might call it.
We all have these moments in life where we look before us and the view is so peaceful and beautiful we forget to breath, because the thought of loosing it is to great. Instead we take a chance and look back to see where we came from and then when we turn back around the view is nothing like we remember.
The garden where peace and love flowed is now a forest of mud and fallen trees. The hope that once filled our minds is now replaced with the mess that is before us.
For me this came in college, a friend that I thought the world of, a friend that knew me so well, a friend I would have called a best friend...decided to stop walking, decided to turn around. The view I had planned in front of me, the breath I was deciding to take was thrown from my body and in front of me was nothing but a mess.
I think that is all a part of life...looking back and seeing the mess that in now beautiful with time. See four years ago I was turmoil, I was in mud up to knees and everyone around knew more then I did. The people around me saw the picture with color and all I saw was this gray world with no point.
Messy, ugly, and lifeless...my world lie in front of me and I saw nothing of value.
Four years ago I could not stand here and tell you the beauty lie in the fact that this boy was the first to find value in me, this man was the first to give cridit to these gifts I possess, and this man of God was the first to say run because God is by you...run
I think through life we all have messes we can look back on and see beauty. I dont think my dad would consider the drive home he was partaking in when the phone rang with news that my mom had cancer a good drive. I dont think my mom would consider the weeks she spent away from me, a freshmen in high school and my sister a four month old newly adopted baby, good picute because of the radiation in her body kept her from us, I dont think my grandma would think back and view the hours spent in the waiting room wondering if her daughter had cancer a painting worth repainting.
Yet looking back at this unglyness, I see my dad and a group of men meeting at McDolalds to talk about grace and love when nothing seems to have hope, I see my mother who is now working on a cancer floor of a hospital and is allowed the joy to show love and mercy to people and families going through the same thing she did...the same thing we did.
Beautiful! This year of my families life, was a beautful mess and God shown through in every aspect of it all. Looking for the sunlight behind the trees, the flowers blooming in the mud...the mess of a year was worth the aching pain of picking up one foot up at time. Praying for strenght to see tomorrow and a hope that worth and life is found in Christ and not test results.
My parents taught me then that life is lived in these moments, these time when nothing makes sense...Christ does.
In collage this rang through. That boy, remember him, my parents knew what was to come, and allowed me to walk in the forest because they knew that the life I was called to would be shown to me through this mess. They knew that they would have to pick me up and hold me later but that I need this forest of broken tress to teach me about myself, to mold my steps and to set me on the path I'm on now.
As I stand now years after falling and the boy standing, I see that we were brought together for my heart to find this place I call home. I would not be the girl I am now with out his words of perservance. I would not be the women I am now without the faith he provided in my strength, whether he knows he did or not, and I would not be this women of God living in the northwest persueing Chirst through helping with a church plant had he not allowed my desire to over shadow his at times.
Messy, grows, thick and unable to see through...at times...Colorful, radiant, and remarkable...YES...a beautful mess some might call it.
Long time no writing
Sorry, my computer charger died...sad i know, but now i am up and going...so here i go, i be posting soon like tomorrow!
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