In love with where I am

SO days go by where the feeling of being full is never tasted, where striving to be me and do my best comes from my own strength and not for God.

Why?

What negative has ever happened when I relied on God…NOTHING. Yet I choose to think I can do it. I choose think I can handle the weight of the world with no issues. Has for the fact that I can not hold that much, that I am not that strong, that I was not created to or for the purpose of holding the world. Those thoughts don’t count, they not weigh heavy on me.

NO not until I have fallen under the pressure and I turn to the one who CAN hold the world and actually wants to hold the world.

Yesterday I was doing a study and was asked the question has you get refreshed….driving and writing. The next question said what verses do you cling to in times where you can not fell God…PS 145.

Answered the questions and moved on…

I was sitting in class and Dan asked how do you refresh and are you…..shocked at how these issues had now been brought to light twice in one day.

I checked my mail and received a card from some students in DALLAS and one said “if you fell tired don’t get discouraged read 1 Cor” what perfect timing, I was feeling the exact way this guy was writing!!

I wake up most morning to a text from a good friend in DALLAS of scripture. Today it was Ps 82:15 “but you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness”
I redirect parallel to Ps 145

I love how God knows my needs and meets them in ways I am incapable of doing on my own. Refreshment is here, and I am living in it! Wonderful…thanks you are the prayers, they have been felt.

Giving Blood is NOT for me

SO, just an update, two days ago i decided out of the kindness of my heart to give blood. This is a decision that did not come lightly, you see at the age of 17 I gave blood. Well, a better way of saying that is at the age 0f 17 I was given the option to skip AP PSYCH by giving blood. It did not seem like that big of a deal and to be honest I was always looking for a reason to miss class. So i took the step wrote my name down and the day came for me to give my blood and I did. Well, when i said "i did" i mean I tried. I let them poke both arms and try to get blood from either arm and they missed both times, they stuck me a total of three times, both arms were wrapped in cool colored bandages and i walked into PSYCH and then pasted out for the remaining time of class. Since that day i have never given blood. I stayed away from the bus when it came to campus and politely declined every time someone has offered me a spot on the list.
Well, I changed my mind, last week a friend called an something came over me and i said YES, why not ill give blood. SO on Tuesday i walked into the van with all the happy looking people on the outside and tried to be a good person...instead this is what happened.
I sat in the chair, after being told that my iron and blood pressure were good they proceed to start the process. This man came and did the 30 sec cleaning of the arm. During this time i warned the man "my vanes are on top and blood comes out slow" He searches and says "Well i am going for a deep one" Obviously he did not listen to me! After the needle had been in my arm for all of THREE seconds he starts moving it around, why, because it was not pumping fast enough....and again i tell you HE DID NOT LISTEN TO ME! IN the process he pushed through my vain and then...
A huge lump of blood starts to swell in my arm about the size of about half my fist, it was unlike anything i had ever seen. From here he applies pressure and tells me all will be ok. (LIE)



SO on Wednesday i go through the day in pain and drained. My arm was numb and tinkling from the elbow down, from the elbow up i could fell my heart beat. It was an unusual pain that is unlike anything i have felt before.
I went to the doc. and his first thought, before meeting me or seeing my arm, was that i was over reacting to a simple arm prick but he is now "a believer" those were his words. My arm is hot and discolored from all the blood i lost. I was put on three meds. and still dont fell well, I am suppose to go in tomorrow if it does not get better.



Hope the pics where enjoyable and that the story was not to gross.

NOT good at this...

Well i thought i would give it a try and as we can see this past week was way to crazy to even think about posting everyday! Sorry guys, know that i thought about posting but time was lacking on all fronts.

the past 7 days are a beautiful blur of people, great weather, all kinds of creamer for coffee, large boards with questions and room to answer and numerous conversations with random people. A week where a hand with a granola bar led to words about Easter. At least 25 hours of being a constant presence on the campus of UofI. It a great week. Tears were shead, laughs were shared. I can not do justice to the week God gave me.

Easter is always a great time in life. THinking about what Jesus did on the cross, and how much that changed my life and the lives of those around me. Keith (pastor) talked about the passage in Lev. where it speaks on the presets and the goat. The point being that the goat is GONE!! There is no longer a need for a goat, the rope no longer turns white, the price was paid and the debt is removed! what glory comes in that, what freedom comes in those words...Joy is found.

THe day was just beautiful...minus the lack of family, i can not tell you how much i was blessed by friends, who have evolved into family, and by God who allowed my eyes to be open to real love and how to allow Him to love me and then me to love others!!

BLESSED...I AM BLESSED

Holy week

SO my goal is to update everyday this week...well see how that goes.

Today we handed out free coffee and had a blast talking to students and here somethings they would like to forget, that was the question on the board. We will be on the pavements of the U of I all week, talking and hoping to lead people to the reason behind the cross.

Sorry I have been a blog slacker, life as been fast pace and crazy with drew y. leaving and holy week prep work as well as a church wide meeting we had. Sorry i placed the blog second to most things.

I will update later, im on my way to a meeting and i need to get going but enjoy the new photo up top.

Also i went to portland and have lots of fun pics i will put them up later.